MANAGEMENT AND LONGING
Well my life has been a roller coaster ride. My boss has been putting me through the ringer and the stress of all of it has taken a toll on my psyche. Luckily I think I sorted it out and I am moving on through the next six months of my stay in Korea. In the stress of the moment there was a lot of panic, but there was also some self realization. I am ready for graduate school, really ready. I am ready to work to change my world, and I am ready to go through the preparation necessary to make me an outstanding candidate for the programs I want to get into. Of course there are some hurdles I need to overcome. Since coming to Korea I come to the realization that I am struggling with a long bout of depression. This struggle has lasted longer than my normal bouts and its time I seek some help. In the past I did well with self treatment. But now, without the access of friends and family, I realize that it is important for me to seek help. I will let you know more about this as it progresses.
On to the things I am excited about. I have come to the decision that I am going to pursue a degree in Environmental Policy as soon as I return from Korea. Right now I am looking at four programs that get me really amped up. One is New York, another is in Seattle, another is in Detroit, and one is in Wisconsin. These locales don’t appeal to me, but the awesomeness of the school’s programs vastly outweigh my dislike for New York and Wisconsin. On another note I wish the economy was better, but with Obama at the helm I am hoping that the economy will be much better in six months. Of course, my hope occasionally stifled from reading Paul Krugman. But he has some faith in Obama and that gets me a little jazzed. Anyways, I return in six months and it feels good that I have a plan for the future.
I learned a pretty profound lesson from all this shit. Circumstance and your own will occasionally put you into situations that can creat some chaos. In the chaos, you can find order. I know this sounds all taoist, but on some level I believe its true. Things are good and a structure of a plan is beginning to form in my head. Graduate school will provide great purpose and it will give me some satisfaction and merit to the problems I have been struggling with while I was abroad.
Before leaving you guys I would like to leave you with a final thought. Going abroad doesn’t solve your problems it merely amplifies them. Before traveling I knew that I was depressed. I just did nothing to confront it. Now, for the first time, I am actually confronting and fighting it, trying to find some answers to the problems that haunt my psyche. I hope you are all doing well and I hope your finding answers in the tumult that we call life.
2 years ago